Many people say they want true love, but the truth is most of us can’t handle it. There are many experiences and feelings we call love, but they are not love.
We confuse obsession with love. We confuse attachment and need with love. When we are lonely, we confuse the feeling of relief that comes from filling the void with love. But these experiences are not love.
True Love flows out from within us. It is divine in origin and nature. A supremely powerful force. It feels so good to the human who experiences it that the human – blinded by the hallucination that this love could ever be lost – seeks to contain it, control it. But this fear-based need to capture this love forever is the very thing that would kill the love.
And so the human who seeks to know True Love, must learn to keep her heart open, no matter how strong the illusion of loss is. He must learn to get comfortable with the discomfort of vulnerability.
Yes, while the consistent, open-hearted flow of love is deliciously expansive, it can be foreign to how many humans live… asleep, checked out, obsessed, fixated, unplugged from life. We get caught up in our phones, our computers, the news, tv, opinions, to-do’s.
The doors to our hearts close and we are lulled to sleep, or consumed in nightmares. It is only as our hearts open that we feel most alive.
When we feel love for another, it is because we see reflected back our highest Selves. We recognize the love that flows in the other. We connect, merge as one, remember we are the same.
What is pain then? What is the experience we call “broken-heartedness”? It is the human experience of the illusion becoming more real than truth – temporarily. When we say, “You hurt me,” we are actually saying, “You and I are no longer the same. We are no longer one. I do not see love in you. I cannot feel the love in me.”
I think of those that I have blamed for breaking my heart. Be they romantic partners or strangers that have enacted the darkest side of humanity. The truth is that my heart, shattered into a million pieces, gave me permission to grieve and rage freely. This allowed me to come alive in a way I’d never known.
The love that was always inside of me could flow again.
True Love and Pain are the same sensory experiences. We humans are the ones who create illusions of beauty or despair from their energy. We layer words and meaning and thoughts and judgments over the experiences.
Yet they are life force moving through our beings.
I’ve long known that our power rides on the current of our emotions, but my latest experience of True Love has elevated my understanding to new heights.
Power cannot be contained or controlled. It must flow and be directed.
True Love cannot be contained or controlled. It must be experienced and expressed fully.
Deep Pain cannot be contained or controlled. It must be honored and respected.
Our challenge and our opportunity as humans is to patch up the places we leak our power. The leaks can be found by identifying the places we believe that power lives outside of ourselves. As we patch up our own leaks, we become stronger vessels and vehicles for life force. We are empowered to harness and direct this flow creatively rather than destructively.
Like the invisible force we recognize as electricity. Misused it can burn down a village. Harnessed with wisdom it illuminates a world.
Do you long for True Love? Can you handle it? While it is not for the faint of heart, if you are called to know this power, the gifts of honored guardianship are beyond measure.