The blind spot that can be found when you focus on the “dream person” vs. the “dream relationship” is a powerful one to illuminate because it is the cause of much self-sabotage. With this blind spot an individual will focus on Prince or Princess Charming. They think, ‘I want a mate who is this, that and the other thing.” And yet, time and again, they are disappointed. In one scenario the seeker will repeatedly attract that type of person, but remain dissatisfied in their relationships. In another scenario they will feel unable to attract anyone at all. What they “think” they want will simply elude them.
The tricky part about this blind spot is that the person is focusing on the wrong thing. People seeking satisfying relationships want a relationship, not a person. A person is a separate and unique individual. Just because they have qualities that appeal to you does not mean that they are the person to help you create a certain type of relationship experience. Conversely, a relationship is an experience with its own life force. It is like a baby that can only exist under the right conditions.
In order to harness the creative power of your consciousness, you must identify for yourself the qualities, the essence, and the feelings you want to experience within a relationship. A few ways to start this process include:
> Make a list where every sentence begins with, “My dream relationship is….” instead of “My dream man or woman is…”
> Envision that your dream relationship is a room that you walk into. Identify for yourself the way that room feels.
> Think about who you want to be in the relationship, who your mate gets to be, and how you relate to each other.
It is much more important that you clarify the dynamics between the two of you rather than the qualities that appeal to you in the other person. As you shift your focus from “dream mate” to “dream relationship” you will begin to gain new insights and experiences that will guide you to what you’ve really wanted all along.
Would you like to explore what relationship blind spots may be hiding the fulfillment you seek? I’m currently offering 4-session- mini-coaching packages as I celebrate being in business for 20 years! For details go to: www.soniammiller.com/mini-coaching-package.
Choose YOUR Reality! TM